Saturday, 14 May 2011

To all the Mama's who read this blog

Hello Curious Readers!

Now before I start, this blog was never intended to be a personal documentation of my life, sure wedding planning was going to inevitably come up (DIY tasks to be documented etc etc) but NEVER EVER was I going to do the whole, this is my life day-to-day style blogging.

However, after not being able to post for ages (thank you blogger for that) I felt a need to reconnect with you, my readers and actually ask for some advice. This blog is about creating a wonderland and I guess that doesn't just mean the material stuff!

As you guys know, I am getting married next year, my fiance is totally amazing, I love him to bits and he is the ying to my yang. I am 22 (23 on the 26th of May) and he is 30 (31 on the 29th of May), as well as 8 years age difference our lives have been very different. He has done the partying in your twenties thing whereas I moved out at 18, moved in with him 6 months later and have since had varying degrees of financial difficulty, all of which have had a significant impact on my social life.
My life plan was always to have children and specifically to have them when I was 30, now I know it can't always be planned but as far as the grand plan went, 30 was the age I would become a mama. So when I am 30, my partner will be 38 and it turns out that not only is 38 TOO OLD but also he is definitely hearing his biological baby clock a'ticking.

This is the odd thing...I WANT kids but I guess I just want them on my terms!

After so many conversations about it, where I have stressed that my dad was 38 when they had me (although as he pointed out, I was their LAST child not their first) and 38 was not and still is not too old, I basically made the compromise to start trying to conceive at 27, that gives me 4 years (3 of which I will be married) to get a job, go somewhere within that job and most importantly to me to get ourselves on the housing ladder. I am sick of renting and I do not want to have a child while we are renting, I do not believe there is anything wrong in renting with kids but I know how unstable renting makes me feel and I do not want to have a child when I feel unstable.

But here is the problem....I feel like I made a big compromise slicing 3 years off my baby plan and I feel that I am the only one making the big compromises...not him. Now it isnt a case of "I made a you HAVE to make one"'s more of an issue that I am petrified I will somehow resent my child if I do not feel 100% financially ready and in a good place in my career

So have any of the mama's who read my blog had similar feelings? Any advice for me? I know no time is PERFECT for children but I guess I want some reassurance that these feelings are completely natural.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...